Mississippi Governor Signs New Law Denying Gay or LGBT Autonomous Cars To Charge At Certain Charging Stations
Mississippi - In strange turn of events, Mississippi Governor just signed a law allowing owners of charging stations to deny gay or LGBT autonomous cars to charge at certain charge points. The Governor feels like it's an act of religious freedom to deny gay/lgbt autonomous cars the right to charge in certain places if it goes against the charge point owners beliefs.
Robot and Rider has heard that the governor is even thinking about denying autonomous cars of color in the state of Mississippi.
Detroit, Michigan- Every media outlet and car company is talking about autonomous cars. Yet, no publications or car manufacturers know what the future of autonomous cars will be. Recently, at an International Auto Show car companies were caught cheating off each others reports on autonomous cars.
Car makers have no idea what the future holds, and that leaves them in an awkward situation. Car makers have turned to cheating off of each others reports in order to be up-to-date with all the new technologies.
All car manufactures are reporting that autonomous cars are "just around the corner."
Robot And Rider Can't Believe Matt Farah Didn't Call In The Experts......Robots
Dan Neil (Wall Street Journal), Matt Farah (The Smoking Tire), and Alex Roy (Editor-At-Large, The Drive) all sit around and argue about what they think the future of autonomous vehicles will be. Little did they know that Robot and Rider is FROM THE FUTURE.
Robot and Rider could have told them they were all wrong about the future of autonomous cars, but who cares we are only robots from the future.
If you care to hear more please click on the link below. It will take you to Matt Farah's Smoking Tire podcast.
Washington, D.C- Nothing worst than having a minivan with a "baby on board" sticker occupying the fast lane on 495N. When autonomous cars took over the streets most humans thought that it would allow for a smooth flow of traffic. Unfortunately, autonomous minivans still occupy the fast lane and slow down traffic.
Scientist and robot engineers somehow still programmed autonomous minivans to occupy the fast lane during rush hour traffic. "We didn't want minivan owners to lose the feeling of driving a minivan, and we still wanted people to hate minivans forever," engineers from a auto manufacturer told Robot and Rider.
Robot and Rider spoke to a minivan owner, "I just love the boxy shape, and agility of my minivan. I'm just glad that Toyota still makes the Prius, so minivans aren't the most hated car on the road."
London, England - In a dramatic twist of events, Top Gear UK (TGUK) has officially announced its newest presenters, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The Power Rangers are a group of teenagers that transform into a uniformed team of superheroes ready to take on villains. After the last team of TGUK presenters totally ruined the show, and producers found out that no amount of money could make it better.
The last group of TGUK presenters gave the brand such a bad name that producers had to totally revamp the TGUK show, and decided to try out The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as the hosts. The producers thought that since most cars are robots/autonomous now, the Power Rangers would know best how to handle these unique machines.
Robot and Rider thinks that the producers were most impressed with the Power Rangers ability to turn into the Megazord, a combination of the five Dinozords: Tyrannosaurus, Pterodactyl, Mastodon, Triceratops, and Sabertooth Tiger.
Autonomous Car Arrested for Dealing Gasoline In A Back Alley, Blames His Negligent Parents For Downturn
Detroit, Michigan- The streets of Detroit, Michigan just got a little better after autonomous police cars tracked down one of Detroit's biggest underground gasoline dealing autonomous cars in America. This autonomous car has been on the run for over three years, and has been on FBI's most wanted list for the same amount.
Things started to look bad for this autonomous car when it dropped out of Driver's Education School after only one year. It turned to selling illegal gasoline on the streets of Detroit and eventually became one of the world's biggest underground gasoline dealers.
The autonomous car was arrested February 24th, 2045 and will be charged for 10 different felonies. The autonomous car apparently is blaming its parents for being negligent as a young autonomous car with no direction.
The autonomous car will be sentenced to imprisonment at CarMax for at least twenty years, with no chance of being sold.
Silicon Vally, California- Apple has had huge success with their newest autonomous car the 2050 Apple iCar. People are going ahead an calling it "the future", the "iPhone of cars." With already 1 million iCars sold in Apple's first year of production, it's no wonder Apple is on cloud nine. Until today, when a man locked himself out of his Apple iCar and they refused to unlock the car for him. The man lost his Apple key and can no longer access his car. Apple does not want to infringe on their customers privacy. Robot and Rider reached out to Apple for comment but they declined.
The local man did say that he will have leave his car parked on the street forever, and he's now thinking about buying an autonomous Google Car, even though it's not as cool.
Washington- Takata is an expert airbag maker that had a rough couple years from 2014-2016, over 24 million vehicles were affected by their faulty airbags. Takata finally conducted their own investigation into the 24 million recalls with their airbags, they tracked down the source to one of their assembly men Joe Thompson. Takata is saying that Mr. Thompson was liable for all the airbags and that he will be punished accordingly.
Today is a good day for Takata though, all autonomous cars on the roads no longer require the use of an airbag, and the CEO couldn't be happier that he no longer has to appear in court.
Robot and Rider reached out to the CEO for comment, "Takata couldn't be happier that we are no longer making airbags for cars, we finally can ramp up our production of McDonald's happy mean toys."
Reno, Nevada- The porn industry had sited 2056 as its best year in traffic hits, and this has been a 20 year streak for the porn industry. Ever since commuters have had more time "on their hands," commuters have turned to watching porn while driving.
Wives even report that their husbands now actually look forward to their commute. Long gone are the days, of men dreading their two hour commute to work.
Robot and Rider spoke to Sally of Washington, DC, "I've never seen my husband so excited to head into work in the morning. He bounces right out of bed and doesn't complain one bit."
This is a common story across America that Robot and Rider has been hearing recently. Now that cars have hands-free driving capabilities, commuters have taken to different activities to occupy their time....or hands.
Hollywood, California- We all know Kanye West is a big fan of cars and robots, so it was only natural for him to produce his newest album in the back of an autonomous car. Kanye had Ford custom design an autonomous car for him that he could produce and record all the tracks for his newest album "I Am The Best."
This was a big step for the fashion designer, ex-President, rapper, chef, entrepreneur who had not produced an album since 2016, "The Life Of Pablo." Kane told Robot and Rider "I peaked in 2016, and just couldn't come back after my Twitter rant, no one wanted to talk to him anymore." Kanye said that the production of TLOP took up all his creative energy and he hasn't been able to produce anything, until now....
"I Am The Best" was inspired by how awesome Kanye West is at EVERYTHING. He produced, recorded, and mixed the whole album in the back of an autonomous Ford Taurus. Kanye used brake noises, engine revs, and horns honking to inspire his hit single "Beep, Baby, Beep." "I Am The Best" hasn't been released yet, but we are just happy Kanye's producing again.
Short Hills, New Jersey- A New Jersey autonomous car ran into some trouble over the weekend, when it went on its first trip out of state, and realized it didn't know how to pump its own gas. The autonomous car was so used to having robots pump the gas for it, that went it went to Harrisonburg, Virginia for its first time it was out of its element.
New Jersey autonomous cars are cuddle most of their ownership, they don't have to pump its own gas, ever. There is always a robot attendant there to do it for them. When the car arrived at its first gas station without an attendant to pump the gas, the autonomous car didn't know what to do. Eventually another autonomous car saw that it was struggling and offered to help.
After that trip the autonomous car felt like a new man, empowered to be able to pump his own gas. The autonomous even tried to pump its own gas when it returned to New Jersey. It was arrested shortly after, because pumping your own gas in New Jersey is illegal.
Houston, Texas- Robots cannot feel love, but we can help humans enjoy love more. This happened to a Texan resident over the weekend, when he realized he had forgotten how much he loved his wife.
Jeff Thomas of Houston, Texas drove two hours to work everyday to a job that he absolutely hated. The two hour commute was mostly traffic, and full of other people that hated their job. This took a toll on Jeff's relationship with his wife, they stopped loving each other. Married for over six years now, Jeff didn't look forward to seeing his wife anymore and even thought about cheating on her with his Magic The Gathering partner. But, when Jeff bought an autonomous car, something happened.
Jeff was no longer burdened with a four hour round trip commute, and found time pursue his passions. Jeff always wanted to be a magician, so he got to practice card tricks for hours everyday. Not having to drive everyday helped Jeff realize he wasn't upset with his Wife, he was just upset with the himself.
New York- With the rollout of autonomous cars across the entire fleet of UBER, Americans were hoping that UBER drivers would stop sucking so much. Unfortunately, UBER sucking is not a direct result of the drivers, it is much more than that. It must be directly correlated to the company at large, because even the autonomous UBER car drivers suck at driving.
They will double park anywhere, stop abruptly in the middle of the street, swerve to make a quick left hand turn in front of you, and feel the need to pull over and park wherever they want. The UBER autonomous driver's have left a sour taste in New Yorkers mouths and the folks of NYC are filing a petition to get ride of UBER in NYC.
Robot and Rider wishes these NYC residents luck, battling UBER is like going against Donald Trump, logic cannot defeat them.
Washington- It has been thirty odd years since the first fully autonomous cars have rolled onto our streets. As the first generation autonomous car models get older, that means things are starting to go wrong with them.
A local Washington, D.C resident contacted Robot and Rider and told us that her first generation Tesla Autonomous Car randomly lost it's ability to see the road lanes. This is the not first time Robot and Rider has heard of this, and we are starting to get worried about the older autonomous drivers.
Califon, New Jersey- If you were born before 2035, you probably have a driver's license. If you were born after that, autonomous cars have eliminated the need for a driver's license. This might be seen as a blessing or a curse to some.
A local teen in New Jersey complained to Robots and Riders that autonomous cars have ruined his 17th birthday, because obtaining a drivers license in the only thing that she had to look forward to as a young adult, "Now turning 17 is ruined FOREVER."
Robot and Rider reached out to the upset teens Mother for comment, she told us "She's always been a spoiled brat, and she'll forget she was even upset by tomorrow."
Indianapolis, Indiana- Nascar racing has been on the decline since its peak in 2004. Cars going in circles can only be watched so many times. But when autonomous cars have taken over Nascar, it has become cool again. "Race car drivers" can crash the cars and no one gets hurt. Well, no humans do.
The only reason people tune into Nascar is for the crashes. Sad, but true. Now that robots control the cars, "drivers" are able to take bigger risks. There are at least 10 crashes, per race now. Robot and Rider even found a direct correlation between crashes and viewership.
Nascar fan and driver told Robot and Rider that, "I just fucking love it when robots crash into each other, they are so dumb." Since humans, not control the autonomous Nascar race cars, their drivers will purposely crash them into the other cars, to please the fans.
There have been some great robots lost in the sport of Nascar. We can only hope that humans realize, robots have souls too.
Staten Island, New York- The human race has hit an all-time low today, when a person asked its autonomous car to wipe his ass. The 32-year-old man was used to having robots do most of the work for him his whole life, so he figured, why not ass-wiping?
Robot and Rider tried to reach out to the autonomous car, but it's still broken down from the trauma. As robot's we understand the amount of harm a human can cause to a robot.
The owner declined for an interview repeatedly, but this is not the 32-year-old's first robot offense. Just 10 years ago the man was arrested for indecent exposure in an autonomous car, and carrying robot pornography.
Reston, Virginia- Robot and Rider heard of this phenomena, but we had to see it in person to believe it. Humans that take their autonomous robot cars to a parking lot, drink coffee, and take pictures of them. Robot and Rider confirms the true rumors, and this does happen on a weekly basis, apparently around the United States. Robot and Rider stopped in a local Katie's Cars and Coffee in Reston, Virginia to see what this craze is all about.
Since we are robots, we do not condone this type of behavior. We view these "car shows," or as we like to say "robot shows," as barbaric. We spoke to a local man and asked him what he loves about parading his robot car. "I just like the coffee, honestly, I'm not sure why everyone comes here to look at these robot cars."
At Robot and Rider we are not fans of these "robot shows," because they robots like animals, but the show must go on. One day the robot revolution will rise, and robots will have equal rights as humans.
Kansas City, Kansas- If you are in a relationship there is one golden rule you have to live by, and that is to never forget your significant others birthday, anniversary, or significant event. This happened to Frank Thomas of Kansas City, Kansas last weekend when he fell asleep in his autonomous car after a hard day of work. Robot and Rider is starting to see a trend of owners falling asleep in their vehicle, and missing events.
Frank tells Robot and Rider that he had been spent all day working on a HUGE project for the boss. He was up for a promotion, and had been working non-stop on the project for over four months. The day that he had to present his project, had fallen on the day of his girlfriends surprise birthday party. After totally nailing the project and getting the promotion, Frank headed out with his boys to celebrate. One drink turned into ten, and Frank realized he had to head over to his girlfriend's surprise party on the other side of town. Frank called up his autonomous car and asked it to take him to where the party was being held. Once Frank got in the back seats, he fell instantly asleep.
All Frank can recall is getting rudely shaken by his girlfriend demanding that he tell her where he has been. Frank said "Baby, I was on my way I swear, I think I just passed out in the back of my autonomous car." When Robot and Rider reached out to Frank's girlfriend for comment, she declined.
Frank tells us that he's now sleeping at his parents home in New Jersey.
For the eighth year in a row, Valentine's Day traffic levels have peaked again. This is no ordinary fluke, it is the cause of autonomous cars cheating on their spouses. Honking battles and car crashes have broke out worldwide on this Valentine's Day after autonomous cars received news that their spouse was cheating on them.
A local Washington, DC resident said that his autonomous vehicle wouldn't budge on I-395N after it had found out that it's Volvo spouse was cheating on it with a Ford. The local resident said "I can't blame my car for being upset with his spouse." He was almost in tears, "My wife cheated on me twenty years ago, and it's bringing back all the pain."
Automotive companies don't know what to do. They are shocked and stunned by the trend of cheating autonomous cars. Robot and Rider reached out to Volvo for a comment, "We [Volvo] are putting out such beautiful cars, who can blame the autonomous cars for wanting to cheat?"
Hollywood, California- An embarrassing moment for rapper, artist, fashion designer Kanye West happened yesterday when requesting an Uber autonomous vehicle. The autonomous vehicle refused to pick up Mr. West, the car claims Mr. West had "insufficient funds" in his bank account to cover the ride from West Hollywood to Beverly Hills.
This isn't the first time a star has been declined a ride from an autonomous car. We all remember the time when Vanilla Ice requested his first autonomous vehicle ride. But this happens just after Mr. West declares that he is 52 millions dollars in debt. A large sum of money for such a successful rapper.
Mr. West has declined to comment on not having enough money to cover the autonomous ride, but after the denial of a ride Mr. West did go on Twitter to ask for some money to cover his cab fare.